Dear AI, Are there predators in churches that prey on older women?

I was blindsided when I found out that my wife was divorcing me for a younger man that she’d formed a relationship with in church.  It was the day after my 79th birthday.  We seemingly have had a “perfect” marriage and things were going very well, as far as I knew.  We celebrated our 50th wedding anniversary in June, 2025. My wife seemed very happy because she has formed many close friendships in our new hometown of Eastland, Texas, many of whom I had met.  With the help of my daughters, who are devastated, as well, we started looking into it.  When I asked AI the question, “Are their predator in churches that prey on older women?” I was surprised by the answer and I didn’t know that was a thing.  I knew, as we all do, that there are predators in churches that prey on children, but I’d never thought about older women as being targets.

(When I asked Pastor Dale on July 11, 2025 from the Eastland First United Methodist Church, if he knew that older women in churches are often preyed upon, he said he did.  He promptly and voraciously assured me that he is very vigilant and that is not something that would ever happen in his church.   He claimed that because of his work with families of adoptions, he knows there are people like that and there are none in his church.  When I expressed my concern about Mr. Mattson, he said he knows him and that he isn’t like that.  When I explained to him the nature of Mr. Mattson’s behavior preying on my wife, as far as I knew it, he softened his tone and said he would look into it.  So far, there has been no response from Pastor Dale.)

The following is the response I got from AI.  I have highlighted the parts I am aware of that pertain to my wife, and Mr. Mattson’s pursuit of her.

AI Response:

Yes, unfortunately, there are predators in some churches who target older women, often exploiting trust, vulnerability, or loneliness for financial, emotional, or even sexual gain.

Why Older Women Are Sometimes Targeted

• [highlight]Trusting nature — many grew up with deep respect for religious authority[/highlight]

• Loneliness or isolation, especially after loss of a spouse

• [highlight]Financial stability, especially retirement savings or assets[/highlight]

• [highlight]Desire for spiritual connection or guidance, which can be manipulated[/highlight]

  • [highlight]One of the first things my wife told me about her relationship with Mr. Mattson was that, “We have the strong spiritual connection.  We are on the same spiritual path.”[/highlight]

Common Types of Predators in Religious Settings

1. Financial Exploiters

• [highlight]May pose as helpers, friends, or even suitors[/highlight]

  • [highlight]He has taken her golfing and is her weight training workout instructor.  Some of which I knew about because I encouraged her to go out and be active and make friends.  He obviously exploited the relationship.   He has taken her out to dinner in Ft. Worth at a Marina, which is when I first realized this was not just an innocent friendship.[/highlight]
• Gradually solicit money through fabricated hardships or “divine visions”
  • [highlight]So far as I know he has not done this but we do know that because of a recent divorce, he has bad credit and may be financially strapped.   He has not been willing to show his credit report to intended future bride (my wife), someone who by the way has excellent credit and prides herself because of it.  Somehow he has managed to blind her to her own values of financial responsibility, honesty and integrity.  [/highlight]
• May encourage donations or gifts under religious pretenses

2. Spiritual Manipulators

• [highlight]Use scripture, prophecy, or charisma to control or isolate[/highlight]

• [highlight]Claim special authority or divine appointment to gain influence[/highlight]

  • [highlight]He claimed to be a special friend of Pastor Dale, a claim to which Dale vehemently denied, but Dale when on to extol Mr. Mattson’s virtures because he is involved in the Prison Ministries at The Woodbridge Church, something which may or may not be true.  One thing perpetrators do is become involved in two or more communities, so that no one person can see or know all of their behavior.  He got caught here because I have a broader view and was able to bridge the gap.[/highlight]

• [highlight]Often discourage independent thought or outside counsel[/highlight]

3. Emotional/Sexual Predators

• [highlight]Grooming through excessive personal attention[/highlight]

  • [highlight]He took her golfing, did or does exercise training with her.  He has flirted with her in church, giving her special attention and telling her he found her attractive and was in love with her.  This was done even when he knew she was married, and even though he claims to be a “spiritual person. teacher and guide.”[/highlight]

• [highlight]Cross boundaries under the guise of “spiritual intimacy”[/highlight]

  • [highlight]Kissing[/highlight]

• [highlight]May use prayer, confession, or counseling settings to create dependency[/highlight]

  • [highlight]He has made a point of highlighting their spiritual connection.  [/highlight]Warning Signs

️ How to Protect Yourself or Loved Ones

1. Stay connected — talk regularly with trusted friends or family

2. Set clear boundaries — spiritually and socially

3. Ask questions — if something feels off, it likely is

4. Consult independent sources — before giving money or personal access

5. Report concerns — to church leadership, elder boards, or authorities

6. Know it’s okay to say no — especially to spiritual or financial pressure

Final Thought

Most churches and spiritual communities are full of sincere, loving people. [highlight]But predators do exist, and they often hide behind charisma, religious language, or perceived authority. Awareness is not cynicism — it’s protection for the sacred.[/highlight]

“Be wise as serpents, and harmless as doves.” — Matthew 10:16

Would you like help identifying safe spiritual communities or resources for protecting yourself or others?