Wishing You a Merry Something or Other…

To me it’s really weird when people become adamant about how they’re going to greet others in the holiday season. The expressed belief is that “It’s Christmas, so I’m going to wish you a ‘Merry Christmas,’ whether you celebrate Christmas or not, whether you like it or not!”

A few years ago, it occurred to me to ask myself, “When I give someone a holiday greeting, who am I trying to cheer-up?”  To which I replied:

If it’s me, then I say, ” ‘Merry Christmas’ because it’s ‘MY Christmas Holiday Season’ and it makes “ME” happy to greet you with “MY” Christmas greeting – and if you don’t like it, well, too bad for you.”

On the other hand, if I want to greet others in a way that energizes THEM to feel more cheerful, happy or alive, then I ask, “How do you celebrate the holidays and how would you like to be greeted?”

Now, I do work and live in an area that is very multicultural, so that the people I intend to greet could well be Hindi, Muslim, Atheist, Buddhist, Jewish, or another tradition that does not typically celebrate Christmas, so it’s not an idle question.  And, because I do actually care how they about how the greeting is received, I usually do ask.

As it it turns out, most people, whether Christian or not, say, “Merry Christmas is fine, we love this season too.”   But then for those who do care, they tell me what to say, and I say it.  Because of language differences, sometimes I have to practice it, which I do, and then we usually laugh and play it back and forth,  greeting each other in the way we each like to be greeted.  Everything is gained and nothing is lost.

The great take-away for me in doing this – the one thing I’ve found to always be true – is that no matter how the other celebrates the holidays, everybody appreciates being asked!  And, within the exchange that follows is embedded the true spirit of Christmas of giving, caring, loving and receiving.

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Dr. Amber Quaranta-Leech, LPC-S

Amber holds a PhD in Counselor Education and Supervision from Regent University. She is a Licensed Professional Counselor in both Texas and Oklahoma and holds Supervisor credential for Texas. Amber is an EMDRIA consultant and trainer. She has over a decade of experience in the trauma field in work with uniformed services, domestic violence, childhood trauma and abuse, and recent mass trauma events. Amber provides consultation for EMDRIA certification, for consultants-in-training, and supervision for LPC-Associates. Amber continues to research the benefits of EMDR therapy with a variety of populations. Her goal is to help build strong clinicians who are well versed in trauma interventions to better support their clients. Amber sees a limited number of clients with a focus on trauma work, she is also a Certified Career Counselor and Certified through EAGALA to provide equine-assisted therapy. 

Dr. Jose Carbajal, LCSW

Dr. Jose Carbajal, a U.S. Army veteran, earned his bachelor’s and master’s degrees in social work and a master’s in theological studies from Baylor University, and a Ph.D. in Social Work from the University of Texas at Arlington. With over 15 years of clinical experience and extensive teaching experience, Jose specializes in trauma, sexual abuse recovery, domestic violence, and substance abuse. His research focuses on trauma interventions, neuroscience, and faith. He is EMDR Certified, an Approved Consultant, and an EMDRIA Approved Trainer, with numerous publications and professional presentations to his name.

Dr. Amanda Martin, LMFT-S, LPC, BCN

Amanda Martin holds a PhD in Family Therapy and is a Licensed Professional Counselor, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist Supervisor, and EMDRIA Approved Consultant. With over 14 years of experience, she specializes in trauma therapy for individuals and families in residential and outpatient settings. Amanda also provides supervision for EMDR certification, EMDR consultants-in-training, and LMFT-Associates. Her mission is to help people find a healthy, joyful, and fulfilling path in life. Her warm, supportive, and interactive counseling style incorporates Symbolic Experiential Therapy, Trauma-Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, EMDR, HeartMath, Animal-Assisted Therapy, Neurofeedback, and Collaborative Problem Solving.

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