Squinting Through the Eyes of God

I remember, as a kid, sitting in dad’s little church on Talcott street in Sedro-Woolley, squinting my eyes during the ‘pastoral’ prayer, trying to see God.  That was usually one long prayer.  Dad wasn’t afraid of using an extended period of agonizing silence for the lead-in; and sometimes during the talking part, in his deep reverend voice, he’d get on a roll.  After all, it was pastoral and he was talking to God, and all. 

With the framed-almost-photo of the long-haired blond-headed Western-looking Jesus behind me hanging on the wall on the right, I was certain that if there was a God, he’d appear here.  “Must be here somewhere,” I was thinking as I’d squint and gently turn my head from side to side.  Had to be careful, though.  Didn’t want anyone to see me – looking – couldn’t do that.  But usually it was safe.  It was a serious crowd of Presbiters and they seemed to be getting into it – heads nodding, up and down.

What I didn’t figure out then and, in fact, only just realized this morning was that the ‘seeing was in the looking.’ 

That is, that which was ‘looking out’ is what was being ‘looked for.’  The instrument of perception – the eyes – were actually the vehicle of awareness itself.  

In other words, I wasn’t seeing God because he wasn’t there.  S/he was there!  Just not as an ‘object’ of awareness.  Godness was in the ‘seeing’ that was ‘looking’ because, Lord only knows, the seeing that was looking through the squinting, was looking for itself. 

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Dr. Amber Quaranta-Leech, LPC-S

Amber holds a PhD in Counselor Education and Supervision from Regent University. She is a Licensed Professional Counselor in both Texas and Oklahoma and holds Supervisor credential for Texas. Amber is an EMDRIA consultant and trainer. She has over a decade of experience in the trauma field in work with uniformed services, domestic violence, childhood trauma and abuse, and recent mass trauma events. Amber provides consultation for EMDRIA certification, for consultants-in-training, and supervision for LPC-Associates. Amber continues to research the benefits of EMDR therapy with a variety of populations. Her goal is to help build strong clinicians who are well versed in trauma interventions to better support their clients. Amber sees a limited number of clients with a focus on trauma work, she is also a Certified Career Counselor and Certified through EAGALA to provide equine-assisted therapy. 

Dr. Jose Carbajal, LCSW

Dr. Jose Carbajal, a U.S. Army veteran, earned his bachelor’s and master’s degrees in social work and a master’s in theological studies from Baylor University, and a Ph.D. in Social Work from the University of Texas at Arlington. With over 15 years of clinical experience and extensive teaching experience, Jose specializes in trauma, sexual abuse recovery, domestic violence, and substance abuse. His research focuses on trauma interventions, neuroscience, and faith. He is EMDR Certified, an Approved Consultant, and an EMDRIA Approved Trainer, with numerous publications and professional presentations to his name.

Dr. Amanda Martin, LMFT-S, LPC, BCN

Amanda Martin holds a PhD in Family Therapy and is a Licensed Professional Counselor, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist Supervisor, and EMDRIA Approved Consultant. With over 14 years of experience, she specializes in trauma therapy for individuals and families in residential and outpatient settings. Amanda also provides supervision for EMDR certification, EMDR consultants-in-training, and LMFT-Associates. Her mission is to help people find a healthy, joyful, and fulfilling path in life. Her warm, supportive, and interactive counseling style incorporates Symbolic Experiential Therapy, Trauma-Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, EMDR, HeartMath, Animal-Assisted Therapy, Neurofeedback, and Collaborative Problem Solving.

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