- Feeling little or no emotion during EMDR is a common experience and does not necessarily mean therapy is ineffective.
- Emotional numbness can be a protective response developed after trauma, allowing people to cope with overwhelming experiences.
- EMDR progresses at each client’s pace, helping create safety before deeper emotional processing occurs.
I have my own EMDR therapist. Even after more than a decade of using EMDR as a clinician myself, I recognize the value of having someone to walk alongside me through the stickier parts of my pastโthose pieces that subtly shape how I show up in the world.
When Sensation Appears Without Memory
Over the past few weeks, weโve been exploring a sensation that comes without an accompanying memory. Itโs intenseโlike standing on the edge of a vacuum, a vast nothingness, accompanied only by a deep sense of foreboding and the nails-down-a-chalkboard quality that makes your skin crawl (IYKYK).
Sitting at the Edge of the Void
Being the slightly disobedient client that I am, I tried to hunt down the memory connected to this sensation between sessions. I looked through time frame after time frame. Nothing. Just that feeling of teetering on the precipice. I began to experiment, simply sitting with the sensationโallowing myself to โhang outโ with that edgeโknowing that we would explore it more fully in session.
When โNothingโ Means No Words
When session came, we approached it together. I dipped my toe into that voidโand for the first time, I realized: this โnothingโ wasnโt a missing memory. It was a lack of words.
What is the image? No words. What is the negative cognition? No words. Every time I stepped out of that space, I could describe my experienceโbut stepping back in, the words disappeared again. Observing this in myself was, quite honestly, strange and humbling.
Witnessing Experience When Language Fails
And it made me think about my clients. What happens when language is absentโor simply insufficientโto capture the experience of a memory or sensation? What do we do when the answer is โnothingโ?
Nothing might mean:
- Nothing is changing.
- I feel blank.
- I perceive no image, no colors, only a void.
- Or it might mean something entirely differentโsomething unique to the individualโs internal landscape.
This work reminds me that EMDR is not just about uncovering memories or labeling thoughts. Itโs about witnessing experience exactly as it presents itselfโeven when words fail. And sometimes, sitting with the โnothingโ is where the most profound work happens.
For me, this edge is not something to fearโitโs something to explore, to notice, and to respect. In doing so, I honor the complexity of human experience, and I deepen my understanding not only of myself but of the clients I am privileged to accompany on their own journeys.
FAQs
Yes. Some people experience emotional numbness or feel disconnected during EMDR, especially if they have experienced significant trauma. This does not mean therapy is failing or that healing is not taking place.
Emotional numbness can be a protective response of the nervous system. It may develop after overwhelming experiences to reduce emotional pain and help a person cope with chronic stress or trauma.
Yes. EMDR does not require intense emotional reactions to be effective. Many clients experience gradual changes in thoughts, emotions, physical sensations, or daily functioning over time.
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